Prologue: Journal Entry

There are days when I wonder why I ever signed up, days in which I try and fathom what life was like before I joined. What life is still like for everyone outside of these walls. Everyone reaches this point, Dr. Englehart says. He says you need a friend when it happens, to go outside and take a deep breath in of what we used to think was stable. He says it reminds you that there is a present place in time. But I can't look at that blue sky and not see what lies behind it. 

That's one of the setbacks of the job, I guess, feeling as though you're always moving. It's as if you don't belong anywhere. And it's tough, realizing that everything is so much bigger than you, bigger than the world.